Today’s generation (i.e. our generation of mid 20’s to 30’s) have gone through a marriage, or do not believe in marriage and see that a simple union will do. I myself having one marriage under my belt am completely okay without okay without getting married again. I think that it is overrated number 1, and number 2 that it is not financially worth it if you are in the middle class. The U.S. government has a neat little way of pushing you over into that next bracket taxing the living hell out of you if you are simply just doing okay.
While on the phone with my mother the other day I told her that I was perfectly happy being single and that I have no intentions of ever getting married again. This turned into an hour long conversation of…
“Be careful what you wish for?!”
“I said that and I met your father 3 months later!”
“It is financially equitable if you have children!”
“Never say never!!!”
God…it’s exhausting just typing this. Finally after an hour of this nonsense I said, “Mom!!! WE are going to have to agree to DISAGREE!!”…
She kept talking…it was like one of those cartoons where you can hear the mother talking over the daughter and not listening to a word they’re saying. I just held steady on my ground and kept repeating, “We are going to have to agree to disagree!!!”…
Finally she stopped, and said, “Okay. Well, I know how this will turn out. You are going to get married again.”…
Dear God….does it ever end. This remind’s me of the last conversation that I had with my father. We were drinking wine and conversing over the phone. Mom wasn’t home that day so she couldn’t call him nor I an alcoholic for talking on the phone and enjoying a glass or two of wine over the phone. She get’s a little weary over that type of thing. With a family of alcoholics, sometimes there are a couple of real bad ones that mess everything up for everyone else. The one’s that can’t keep jobs, or get abusive towards others. The one’s that have a true problem and cannot live their lives without it. Those are the ones that screw it up for everyone else! My father and I on the other hand both went to college, got our degrees, and have both worked hard for most of our lives. We like a cocktail on the weekends, and we like our wine occasionally too.
Anyway, while on the phone with my father he says, “Your mother and I were talking. We were thinking your biological clock is ticking. Your eggs are going to be there forever.”
Oh dear…we are having this conversation.
He continued…
“Well, your sister and brother likely aren’t going to have kids…you may be our last chance. You just might want to think about it.”
I replied, “Dad! I just want to travel. For God’s sake I just got divorced. I just woke up on the plane the other day to a screaming child and woke up to my head shaking, “NO”…and that was while I was only half conscious. I don’t want to even think about kids.”
He replied,
“Well, you have time. It’s just something to think about. You don’t have to do it now. You may want to think about freezing some eggs for later though.”
Oh double dear. Yes…that conversation certainly happened. I am close with my parents, but this whole ‘please get married again’ and ‘pleading for grandchildren’ makes me want to travel the world for even longer. Yikes.
We live in a generation where people do not have to get married to be with one and other. If one wants to get married then that is okay too. It is more and more normal to not have children and to have a dog or several instead. It is also normal to not have kids until one is well into their 30’s. The chances of having a child with down’s syndrome are higher into your 30’s, but I also know someone that had a down’s baby in her 20’s…so riddle me that!?
Sometimes the most unconventional ways are the best ways to live your life. There are no rules to life. Just do what you please…and the rest will fall into place.
Between the Sheets 